I have never seen Kung Fu Panda. I have no experience with closed adoption. I do know what it feels like when people or T.V. uses inappropriate adoption language. This is an excerpt from the article posted to Adoption.com. Please read the entire thing. It is really eye opening. We typically talk about adoption language in the context of strangers in the grocery story or well meaning friends and family. This hits on the importance for all members of the adoption triad to learn and practice appropriate adoption language.
So, while watching Kung Fu Panda III recently, a couple of moments in the movie really hit me hard. When the two pandas realize they are father and son, there’s a tender moment between them. Almost immediately Po’s biological father runs to Mr. Ping (Po’s dad) and grabs him in a tight bear hug (no pun intended!) and says, “Thank you for taking care of him for me.” Sounds sweet, right? Yeah. The sentiment really is sweet. But for a parent to hear that (at least for this parent writing this article) it feels like an immediate demotion from parent to babysitter. I know that when those words were said to me there was only the purest intent. But the words still stung. I didn’t “take care” of my son. I parented him. That means I gave him my heart, my time, my resources, my love, my whole self. I would have given my life for him if that was required. No – I didn’t “take care of him” for someone else. I did it for him.
Here is another ‘Real’ tear jerker.